The act of sex is as much spiritual as it is physical, and reflects the great dichotomy of the human condition as a microcosmic experience of the cycle of life, death, and rebirth.

At its most exalted level, sex is both a self-expressive act and feeling that is simultaneously for each other and oneself, unencumbered by custom or apprehension or fear of judgment, for the purpose of healing. Our partner’s role is to encourage and allow, without judgment, the expression and experience of those parts of the self that are in most need of healing. Sex is not so much technique as it is awareness. Sex is a means in itself, as well as an end. It is a means of expression that can allow one to arrive at a heart centered consciousness facilitated by both surrendering and balancing the expressions of the physical and emotional space. Sex and its expression is a marriage of polarities, polarities which adhere to the laws of dynamic equilibrium which rule over our microcosmic experience of the physical, and our macrocosmic experience of the spiritual. At its core, sex is a kind of doorway to a transcendent experience. In order to fully embrace the potential of this experience to transform one’s consciousness, a full understanding of the nature and interaction of chemistry, surrender, life, death, fear, and desire must be established.

Too often, chemistry is merely an undeveloped instinct which must be brought into the sunlight of conscious awareness. Chemistry is both recognition of interdependent neurosis and an awareness of energetic familiarity, or environmental and genetic memory, respectively. Genetic memory is best understood as a kind of anthropomorphic reminiscence, while environmental memory is simply the sense memory that we have internalized via our nervous system, which in turn is stored in every cell in our bodies, giving rise to our subjective reality and systems of belief. This is significant because it allows one to observe chemistry through the lens of a kind of desire based on memory, which is free of the more traditional interpretation of chemistry that is often likened to a kind of subconscious physical or sexual compulsion, sitting just beyond our conscious influence. When viewed as a form of memory-driven desire, it allows one to consciously evaluate the degree to which the expression of this desire is either healthy or destructive, and therefore the likelihood that pursuing that desire will either perpetuate past emotional trauma or dysfunction, or conversely, foster a sincere and authentic self-expression that enriches our sense of connection and oneness with spirit. Healthy sexual desire can be characterized as the physical space stepping into the etheric space,  so that the lines between the material and spiritual are blurred, thus allowing us to escape the duality of human existence.

The sense of oneness with one’s partner and with the universal self is achieved through the act of surrender. Surrender is allowed to occur primarily because of the relinquishing of one’s ego boundaries, or sense of an individuated self, separate from the world around you. The surrendering of the individuated self is a deeply vulnerable act, which can be fraught with fear. The fear of the loss of the self is overcome by either chemistry or desire. Chemistry is unconscious, while desire is more informed by conscious intent, as outlined above. The former can overcome the physical plane of one’s ego boundaries, while the latter can pierce one’s consciousness into the realm of the spiritual. It is in this transcending of the limits of the physical that we step into the still point. This still point is best understood as the death of the self, and the triumph and rebirth of that which is unmanifest and eternal.